A New Chapter....

So we have finally decided to put some roots down and nestle in so to speak.  Construction of an actual house...no, not another trailer or a modular type temporary home, but an actual real live house, is about to begin this summer.
The very first dirt was moved this weekend for a driveway, compliments of Chad's famous grader driving brother Chris! Now Chris has been driving a grader now since he was about 14 years old.  This being the reason why he is famous around these parts.  I always thought it was crazy to see this little pip-squeak teenager driving around Lodgepole in one of those yellow behemoths making more money than any 14 year old kid could dream off....this being the reason for his occasional/constant ditching out of the classroom!

Before the topsoil could be removed we had to disassemble the barbed wire fence that occupied our driveway area.  Chad was cursing his Uncle Kelvin for his good five wire fence that was quite the process to take down.  I, being a mother of a 10 month old was extremely busy and reluctantly unable to help....cause, well you know how babies can be!  But we watched and gave moral support!

This farm (it's always just been called "The Farm") located 22 km north of Drayton Valley.  It has been in the family since the 1940's when it was homesteaded by Chad's great grandpa Jack Lank.  As a homesteader, a living had to made off the land.  160 acres of forrest land was logged for the spruce trees that used to be abundant here.  Even to this day you have to search really hard to find a spruce larger than a couple feet.  We have just noticed this past summer that the evergreens are coming back.  Tiny seedlings are popping up everywhere in amongst all the poplar, aspen and willow trees that make up the forrest here now.

Leon Lank, Jack's son, was the long time resident here until 1997 when he was forced to leave his little cabin, without indoor plumbing or heating, for the Lodge after a bad fall and a broken ankle at the age of 70.  He still comes out every once in a while during the summer to check the house and go for short walks and reminisce. The old cabin is almost fallen in on itself after record snowfalls this last winter.  The roof has collapsed and it is no longer safe to go inside.  We don't plan on every demolishing it however.  It is surrounded by the largest trees on the property including an ancient maple tree so burning it is not an option.  We figure we should just let it be.

Wanting to build out here as been a dream we have had for 10 years.  We did a lot of traveling, we had a little wee one and now its about a good a time as any.  When we visited an open house about a year ago near Spruce Grove we fell in love with the design and concept of a net-zero house.  This is a house that is self sufficient in heating, cooling and powering itself.  We don't plan on being completely net-zero right away but we want to have the option to convert in the future.  Solar power is becoming increasingly more affordable!

So we met with a design team in Edmonton at Habitat Studio and Workshop and they are right now in the process of designing our very own version of this amazing home.  The one in Spruce Grove being about 6000 square feet including the basement was about twice as large as what we were looking to build.  So basically they are going to take that executive style home design and tailor it to our budget (which is kind of on the puny side! ).  

Hopefully we will see some preliminary floor plans soon and get rolling on this project!  We will be trying to blog every step of the way so that hopefully we can spread the word that building a house that is sustainable can also be beautiful and affordable!  Maybe one day this type of building will be the norm and not the exception!

  

First few days in Bali

March 27/2012
Next morning was Bali day and we were excited to get going and move on to pampering and clean clothes.  Our flight left at 11am so we were off to the airport for 9 and arrived at our gate just in time to have a bathroom break and board.  We were starving when we got there and needed some breakfast but we couldn't decide on what to get (story of our life) so we were a little on the late side.  The first flight brought us to Kuala Lumpur where we only had enough time to ride the shuttle train to our gate and off we went again.  KL airport is a massive affair conected by super quiet light trains and automatic walkways.  Super futuristic!  But when I went to the bathroom and found the regular sit down toilet I was surprised, last time I was here it was squatsville and there were instructions for me on how to use it.  This time it was the other way around!  Bummer!
Airplane food really works well for us.  Chad usually really likes the sauces and the main dishes and I relish the desserts and fruit.  We usually do a switcheroo of our trays and both of us are left with a smile on our faces....only on Asian flights I might add.  North American plane food is disgusting and neither of us are ever very happy, especially on Air Canada (where they make you pay half the time for the nastyness). 
We flew over Bali at sunset and got a beautiful view of Lembogan and the three surf breaks we hoped to see up close very soon.  We arrived at the airport and we paid our $25 visitor visa and waited for our bags thinking this was quite the slick trip not having to wait longer than a few minutes anywhere along the way.  However with all of our travels and nary a lost bag it was bound to happen.  My luggage was lost!  I was in panic mode at first thinking this to be the worst thing that could ever happen.  And then the poor guy whose wheelchair and both suitcases were also lost sat beside me.  I felt like I had actually hit the jackpot compared to what he would be going through.  I couldn't believe they would leave a wheelchair behind.  How in the world was he supposed to get around now. 
We left the airport after filling out tons of paper work and them having promised that my bag would be returned to me in two days (as the next day was Nyepi and consequently a day of silence and even the airport was closed).  They would even deliver it to the house...not bad service I'd say.  Grandma and Putu were there to meet us and take us home.  We are definitely not used to this type of travel.  Was it ever nice to have a cold drink and a ride we didn't have to haggle or pay for to take us directly to the house without asking us if we wanted to stay somewhere better or cheaper or if we wanted to go to a jewelry store first.
We arrived in the evening and spent a bit of time chatting but having been pretty tired from sitting on our arses all day  we headed up to bed.  Our room is perfect and the bed beyond comfortable compared to Thai beds that are as hard as a concrete slab.  Even extra pillows so I can rest the ole gut during my peaceful slumber! 
The next day was Nyepi (beginning of the new year) and a day of silence and no one is allowed to go out on the streets and everything is closed.  You have to be quiet and not make too much noise so as not to bring evil spirits to your home.  Your not supposed to cook either because the spirits can smell too.  Lights out when it gets dark.  We spent the day lounging in the pool and reading.  For some reason or another in all our sitting and lounging I couldn't even find time to write a single word.  By the time darkness rolled in we had to make sure no lights were visible and we hunkered down and watched a movie and had an early night.
My Grandma lives in Bali half the year and in Canada the other half of the year.  This is her retirement even though when she comes back to Canada she still has a job to go to.  My Mom manages her business when she is not there.  Now you'd think retirement would mean a lot of staying home and reading and knitting.  Not for this Grams.  She is busy everyday and has an almost constant stream of visitors that she shows around the island.  She should write a restaurant review column for the local paper and needs a badge that says "tour guide".  I think she may have missed her true calling in life when she got into the insurance bizz.  She loves travel and loves to share those experiences with others.  So she has been to each attraction here on the island no less than 10 times each and even the staff are starting to know her by name. 
Our first day out and about was a rainy one and we figured what better day than to head out to Bali Safari Park and check out the huge array of animals and shows they have out there.  Having a driver is the craziest thing.  We call him and he comes to pick us up and takes us wherever we want and waits until we are done and then takes us back home.  It is definitely something to get used to.  It feels so weird to go into a restaurant and eat dinner while he is outside waiting to drive us home.  It feels like he should be in there eating with us and sharing Balinese stories and having a cold bintang too. 
We saw lions and tigers and bears....seriously we did...in that order.  There were asian elephants and an elephant show that talked a lot about conservation and how the populations native to Sumatra are being decimated due to fighting over habitat.  They figured that maybe if people and elephants worked together....try telling that to a hungry 1 ton elephant if your standing in the way of his bananas!  But all in all a good message and one I hope that people take to heart.  We also got to see the Agung Show at the theatre they have there.  It was a full on musical and dance production of a traditional Balinese story about how a couple of goddesses came to be.  It was beautiful and moving but definitely made by a white dude.  There were elephants on stage and a flock of ducks and birds flying everywhere.  Even a jaguar and a huge yellow snake.  The front of the stage was a river and the set was incredibly detailed.  All for $39.  I think the show itself was probably worth that.
Dinner that night: The Arena.  Where Chad would like to have dinner every night: The Arena.  Surf and Turf (steak and shrimp) for cheap and super delicious!

Muay Thai Madness!

March 26/2012
I haven't had much of chance to update this little bloggity blog due to the fact that since we hit the ground in Bali we haven't had much time for anything!  But I'll start where our story left off: in Bangkok. 
Our last day in Bangkok was mainly to pick up the rest of Chad's suit and maybe outfit him with all the rest of the attire that goes along with his suit.  Now the poor thing has never had much of a fashion sense, as our friends will attest to, and really doesn't care what goes on his back or his feet for that matter.  But for some reason Bangkok and all its glory opened that little portion of brain he had hiding in the back somewhere.  We spent the afternoon shopping for ties and shoes and belts.  I can now safely say that Chad can attend any fancy shmancy event in the big city and look just as hip as anyone. 
After we were confident that our shopping was done we decided that Bangkok should not just be about clothes and purses.  We needed to experience a little Thai culture and what better way than to watch them beat the snot out of each other?  There was a big Muay Thai match being held at the Raja Stadium close to our hotel so we decided to head there.  We got dropped off right in front and the ticket sellers were on us instantly.  We were going to go with the third class seating that was up more in the stands with the locals and the gamblers with standing room only.  Those tickets went for around $30 each.  Second class was $40 had cement steps so you could sit if you didn't mind looking through people's legs.  But ring side seats! These were the cream of the crop and for a measly $60 each!  We insisted that we really only wanted the third class but they kept staring at my growing belly and said that would be no good for me, no sit, very bad.  So I asked for a discount and a free drink and agreed to the ring side seats!  So for less than the cost of a hockey game at home we got treated like Muay Thai royalty and got to see some amazing fights.
The fighters themselves ranged in weight from 81 lbs to 126 lbs.  Tiny little guys, built for speed and deadly in the ring.  There were two title matches and the place was roaring with cheers and young girls screaming for their favorite fighter.  Always red against blue and each fight always begins with the dance to honour their teacher.  Music accompanies the fight, played by a band in the stands.  After the main matches were done it was time for the kids to practice their skills in the ring.  I swear they couldn't have been more than 10 years old but I wouldn't want to meet them in an alley way!  We took a couple of photos with the fighters and we went outside for Chad to sample the street food.
Chad had a few skewers of mystery meat and I almost stepped on a rat.  I figured it was time to head back and seeing as how we hadn't had a tuk tuk ride yet I figured what better time.  We found a guy who would do it for a few bucks and we climbed in.  He asked us if we wanted to go to the "world famous Bangkok Ping Pong Show".  For some reason we didn't think this was the kind of ping pong we play back at home but more of the vaginal kind so we politely declined the offer.  Safely back in our hotel room I decided to stay in for the night.  Chad was not nearly full enough off his 6 sticks of charbroiled meat so he went off in search of a late dinner.....and he swears to this day not a free ping pong show. 

Koh Phi Phi, Phuket and Back to Bangkok

March 21, 2012
The diving and snorkeling at Koh Phi Phi was totally worth the extra Bahts!  We booked with a company called Princess Diving and went out on the early morning boat.  I had to pay this time to tag along for the snorkeling but well worth it.  There were only three other divers on the boat.  A french couple doing their advanced certification and a tattooed polish dive master just there for fun dives.  He was chad's dive buddy.  We went to the first dive spot and Chad and his crew jumped in and were down for the hour.  He said it was really clear and saw lots of different creatures including a colour changing cuttle fish that looked electrically charged!  I snorkeled for the whole hour in the shallower areas around the island.  There was a bit of a current so I definitely got a good work out!  I was scared out of my wits suddenly when there right in front of my mask was a little jelly fish the size of an apple just minding his own business and squirting around.  I am not familiar with the types of poisonous jellies so I took a video and some photos and kept a healthy distance.  After that I think I started imagining that I was getting stung even though it was probably just salt in my skin pores.  Saw tons of parrot fish and yellow angel fish (always in pairs).  Chad saw some lobsters at the bottom. 
Once the first dive was over we hightailed it over to Maya Bay where we had lunch and got to snorkel and jump off the boat.  It was awesome this time because we were on the opposite side of the bay from where all the tourists are and there was our own tiny little private beach that we swam to.  The pad thai for lunch was great too.  We got caught up in pretending we were in a movie that the boat had to yell at us to hurry it up.  Oops.  The next dive site was notorious for black tipped reef sharks and turtles.  It was quite a bit deeper and so the snorkeling was not quite as good but it was sure a different site to be able to look down and see divers and fish 30 meters below you.  The water was crystal clear!  No sharkies today however.  Can never predict when they are gonna show their fins.  They are also very timid and afraid of the bubbles that scuba divers make so as soon as they see you they take off. 
With two great dives under his belt and some wet and salty shorts we boarded the ferry off of Koh Phi Phi and set off for Phuket.  Now this town is where most of the tourists in Thailand head.  You will get every kind of tourist here from the ritzy European at a five star resort to the basic backpacker usually just passing through.  We found a hotel that was a bit further from the beach and so a much better price than we would have found right in the heart of things.  It was practically an apartment!  Even had its own kitchenette!  So I stocked up on more milk and cornflakes, pineapple, noodles and some brews for Chad and we settled right in. 
We stayed near Karon Beach which I think is the most popular one for sunbathing and swimming.  We walked down the next morning and were surprised to see 6km of rows of beach chairs with umbrellas!  More beach chairs than I ever thought existed.  And crap was it hot.  I don't think anyone could survive on that beach without an umbrella.  We grabbed a couple chairs ourselves and paid the fellow who rented them out for the day.  We baked and swam and read our books and people watched.  Boy did we people watch.  The speedos! Good lord there was a lot of package and bum cheek hanging out!  There was this Israeli dude who's nether region hairs were even making a peek out the top of his bright white ginny's.  Then there was the blonde couple in their 50's or 60's beside us that were wearing matching speedos for him and her and his boobs were almost as large as hers (I could tell because she was not going to wear a top if her life depended on it).  I knew it wasn't her first walk in the nudy park as there was not a tan line to be seen.  I thought toplessness was generally frowned upon in Thailand so I refrained from baring my bosoms!
A day sitting in the sun sure wears a girl out and so we treked 'er back up the hill to our cozy hotel to make dinner plans.  BBQ'd seafood was everywhere!  Poor little baby nurse sharks were on every menu.  I stuck with BBQ prawns and Chad had a white snapper and we ate where there wasn't a shark to be seen.  Tastey tastey and cheap cheap!  I can honestly say that so far I have not had one meal in this country that didn't taste good. 
Only a short stay in Phuket for us as we had Chad's suit to pick up in Bangkok and some last bits of shopping to do before we head to Bali.  We opted to fly this time instead of taking the night bus as my belly is in full growth force and causing a wee bit of difficulty when it comes to sitting on my butt for any length of time.  My tailbone under all that extra weight feels like it is snapping off after a couple hours!  I love flying!  You get treated like touristic gold in Asia when you fly.  Our flight was only an hour and a half but we still got served lunch and beverages and because of my pregnantness (which is now next to impossible to mistake for a beer gut) I got a nice pillow for my back and a seat near the front of the plane. 
When we got back to Bangkok we decided to take the train as far as it would go towards our hotel instead of taking a taxi from the airport.  They charge you out the hooha from the airport.  Their trains are slick and quiet and air conditioned.  We got off and took a cab the rest of the way and saved ourselves at least $10.  We are staying at the same hotel we stayed in before because it rules.  I bought myself a bag of chocolate croissants asap.  Because we flew we still had time to make it to the tailor and try on Chad's suit to see if it needed any alterations.  The jacket and pants were fancy shmancy but his pants were not even cut yet!  The guy wrote needed for the 26th instead of the 20th.  No problem he says.  Really? We thought how is this guy gonna whip up a pair of pants in one day?
We went wandering around after that and I got carried away with myself and ended up buying 5 purses.  Three cloth ones for my nieces and two knock off's for myself.  One of genuine shit quality that cost me $4 and the other that actually may last a couple years for $25.  I was quite proud of my purchases but Chad was a little peeved and actually tried to divorce me on facebook! 
Tomorrow is our last day to wander Bangkok then it is off to Bali to visit Grandmama!

Koh Phi Phi

March 18, 2012

Well I thought I would leave that horrible journey behind me and start fresh with a clean head of hair and a coconut shake in my belly and give Thailand another chance.  We checked in to our bungalow for the next two nights.  It seemed like a pretty standard grass hut type thing with a plastic covered mattress on the floor and a mosi net.  Not bad for 600baht a night (on Phi Phi this is a steal of a deal).   I had to ask for a sheet for the bed however because there was none and there he was again! My arch nemesis from the pier earlier that day.  I asked for the sheet any ways and he once again motioned me to go away and kept on smoking and watching tv.  So we slept with my sarong and chad's towel for blankets.  Hey free wifi though....which was good for finding a new place to stay.  I went to grab my swim suit out of my bag and a HUGE spider ran out and down the crack in the floor.  Then I found a delightful bunch of lizard poos in amongst my clothes and I figured what's another few bahts a night for a bit of an upgrade.
Thankfully the hotel up the hill had vacancies and was willing to give us a deal for two nights.  It is much nicer with a far lower creepy crawly to human ratio.  Plus it has a fridge so I can have cornflakes in the mornings! Yay!  I have been in the habit of having two breakfasts as one just doesn't cut it anymore. 
We went on a bit of a snorkeling tour around the islands on one of those long tail boats the other day....so did about 1000 other people.  The tour included a look at Maya Bay (the beach where the movie "The Beach" was filmed).  We opted for the afternoon one and loaded into the boat around 2.  Our first stop was a place called Monkey Beach.  There were two monkeys, we said Hi and were back on our way.  The next stop was a cove that was great for swimming.  We pull up in our boat and the driver says "OK get out".  So we do.  The water is blue beyond belief and refreshing.  Next stop snorkeling at another little cove.  We see tons of fish and lots of corral that looks a tad on the unhealthy side because of an ocean warming trend that happened a few years back when it got too hot and it killed off a bunch of corral.  It is just starting to grow back now.  Tons of sargent majors and pairs of yellow and black angel fish and these long skinny fish that stick close to the surface that I can't remember the name of.  We were in the water first and the last to get out, it was  hard to remember which boat was ours and we almost got back into the wrong one, except for I noticed that the red headed irish chap was not aboard so this must be the wrong one.  If you have a ginger on your tour he/she is the easiest to keep tabs on because thier red hair and sunburned skin practically glow with all the greens and blues of the ocean.  With this tour we were promised lunch.  It consisted of a little wee sandwich with some mayo and cabbage and tomato and cucumber on it.  Not half bad, especially after a snorkel.  We were smart and also brought a pack of our standard issue tube of oreo cookies, of which we inhaled.  Next we got to spend an hour at Maya Bay which I mentioned was the site of a major motion picture and was what sparked the insane influx of tourists to the island.  It really was an extremely beautiful beach despite the 500 people traipsing around.  I have never seen so many bikini clad girls posing in promiscuous positions while their boyfriends take pictures.  Who are these pictures for? Are they going to display their thonged up bums on facebook? eh probably.  We got a few lovely belly shots ourselves.  Back to the boat it was time to head to a prime turtle and shark watching location.  However no turtles or sharks were seen this time round.  Lots of fish and corral though.  With sunset fast approaching we headed out to open sea between the islands to watch the sun go down.  We weren't really sure what was going on when the boat stopped mid ocean, but the driver was kind enough to say "you watch sunset now".  Ah I see we all thought....how romantic.  Chad had enough of this sunset bologna and without even saying anything put his snorkel gear back on and jumped out of the boat!  In the middle of the main boat lanes and nothing to see but black ocean!  I was wondering if I would be a widow and our child would be fatherless.  He was swept out by the current right towards the rocks within only a few minutes and I had a near panic attack when we lost sight of him completely.  The sun going down and my husband nowhere to be seen the ginger irish guy says "oh he's in your bad books now I bet?"  ya, no kidding.  The driver didn't seem concerned so I tried to hide my anxiousness.  By the time the sun was completely gone Chad still hadn't returned but at least I could see the tip of his snorkel and the flapping of his fins as he struggled to make it back to the boat without getting hit by the 10 other longtails and sailboats heading into harbour.  Our driver started up the boat again and was about to head in as well.  I pointed frantically to Chad swimming kilometers away and he let out a giggle and headed in his direction.  We picked him up near the rocks because there was no way he was going anywhere in that current.  I swore I would never speak to him again, plus he ruined my romantic sunset!  Boys!
Chad has yet to earn my forgiveness for scaring me silly and it is not helping that he has won 7 out of 8 rounds of monopoly cards.  The rest of the time on Ko Phi Phi has been delightfully lazy and food filled.  There is no end to the delicious food.  Fried rice and Pad Thai are especially plentiful and cheap.  I am officially addicted to coconut shakes and the fruit is ridiculously fresh and mouth watering.  Every single night on this island is a party and if I was in any other state other than pregnant and barred from booze I would be dancing up a storm and pounding back the vodka, red bull buckets with the best of them.  There are fireworks and fire shows and pounding club music heard on every corner of the island (how the people who live here handle it i have no idea).  The government tried at one point after the tsunami destroyed almost all the infrastructure to limit the amount of people to visit the island and keep it more natural and marine park like but the business owners said "no way jose we need those bahts!"  Ear plugs are a necessity if you wish to get any sleep at all.   Chad had to buy a bucket last night just for the sake of it.  It included for the low price of 140baht one mickey of whiskey, one medicine bottle of uncarbonated thai Red Bull and one can of coke.  Mix it all together in a little bucket of ice and call 'er good.  Well that is just what Chad did.  Today however was a total write off for him due to hangover belly.  We played monopoly cards until midnight and he beat me every time despite his drunken-ness.  I thought the Red Bull would have caused some sort of erratic behavior due to Chad having ADHD as it is and never having consumed one at home.  He pulled off some cat like dance moves and passed out promptly at 1am.
Today I had most of the day to myself so I spent it sunning and eating!  Best time ever really.  Tomorrow we are up early for Chad to dive and I am tagging along for a snorkel and then it is time to say goodbye to Phi Phi and hello to Phuket!

From Ko Tao to Ko Phi Phi

March 17, 2012
Happy Saint Paddy's Day!  There is an Irish bar in town here on Ko Phi Phi that will most likely be full to bursting tonight and Chad saved his new green t-shirt to wear today! He had to buy two new t-shirts because the ones he brought (3 in total) are falling apart or are white and so now covered in yellow stains from sunscreen so look super ugg. 
The journey from Ko Tao to Ko Phi Phi was one of the most interesting and trying experiences ever!  We took a scooter, boat, tuk tuk, van, another van and then another boat over the course of 18 hours.  I am no longer in the state of mind or body to handle that kind of travel so I have sworn off long transports until such time as I can at least sit comfortably without my ass falling asleep or getting cramps in my legs.  I am definitely feeling these 20 extra baby pounds.
We had to check out of our sweet hotel room on Ko Tao at 11am so we stored our bags and spent the day at the beach.  I was so surprised when I went paddling out to check out the reef that it was teaming with fish and other creatures despite the millions of boats ripping around.  I snorkeled around and took a few photos of some sea urchins, parrot fish, angel fish and lots of baby fish that are much more colourful and brighter than their parents.  Chad met an English army feller who swam out really far with him, so far I lost sight of them for a while.  Chad still needs to learn a healthy fear of the ocean.
We showered off by the pool and decided to go for a massage before embarking on our journey.  We opted for the traditional Thai massage and for 10$ each we got pampered for an hour.  Poor Chad got stripped down to his gonchies because his shorts were still too wet.  He wasn't wearing his nicest pair...in fact they are faded brown with holes and parts tend to flail out with too much motions and these massage parlors are not in the least bit private.  I got to remain fully clothed however and was fawned over by two masseuses because of my inability to lay on my back and the fact that my belly friend was putting on a show for the ladies.  He was dancing up a storm in there causing a lot of belly touching and giggles. 
It was time to catch the boat and an old man with a scooter and a side car came to pick us up.  Barreling down the road in a side car was a bit on the scary side but we made it to the boat with plenty of time as the old guy parted the crowds with his scooter contraption and pretty much budded us to the front of the line.  We sat and waited for an hour while the crew sat on the boat and starred at us smoking cigarette after cigarette until finally they decided that maybe they could start loading the bags.  Finally after a generous amount of time they decided that it was time to go and we had to hurry hurry hurry to get on and find our spots.  This place makes no sense to me.  We found our sleeping "stalls" #'s 73 and 74.  They were approximately 24 inches by 6 feet.  Chad was placed next to another stinky dreadlocked viking and me beside a yellow toothed german with quite the ample bum.  Next to her an extremely loud swede who had story after story of all of her travels through South East Asia and just kept naming off all these places that I couldn't even pronounce that everyone had to visit.  We were provided with mats on the floor and a little pillow thing that I have no doubt has never been washed.  I felt like a refugee tucked into the hull of a boat.  Thankfully we headed out once everyone was loaded and some people didn't even get spots but had to be stowed on deck with only a bamboo mat to sleep on.  The crossing took 8 hours and I slept through most of it despite my back killing me and having to switch from side to side constantly and butt checking the girl beside me.  I am sure Chad didn't have much better of a time as dreadhead girls' golden stink coils (her hair) kept whacking him in the face every time she turned around. 
When we arrived to the mainland it was 4:30am and the tuk tuk driver herded us into a shelter like cattle and wouldn't let us out for some unknown reason.  Had to keep the tourists together or they would stray off I guess.  Once he loaded us into the tuk tuk he made us sit in there while he went off for a bit of a vist and a cigarette with his buddies.  Effing awesome.  I had to pee so bad I made everyone get out again so I could steal off back to the boat.  Chad figured he probably should go too but of course right at that moment so did the tuk tuk driver.  I told the guy to wait but he was rude and impatient where as five minutes before he was not in any hurry at all. Chad had to jump in as the driver started driving before he was even fully inside.  All this hurry and he dropped us off at this tourist office where we had to sit for another hour and a half while the driver of the minibus who was going to take us to Krabi was just getting out of bed and had to shower and change and start the van and pretty much tinker around until he was good and ready.  There were signs advertising noodle soups and toast but the lady at the desk was looking too sleepy and said no she wasn't gonna make anything for us.  Finally at precisely 7am we were allowed to board the minibus.  We were on our way again but of course the driver had to stop at the 7-11 and get some candy and coke for the road.  We drove for two hours and ended up in Krabi at yet another tourist office where we had to wait yet again for another hour while the owners asked us how long we were staying in Ko Phi Phi and if they could sell us return tickets or plane tickets or any sort of tickets....hell they'd sell their first born if you wanted.  We missed the first ferry due to all this waiting and stopping and had to take the next one.  Finally another van came and got us and took us to their ferry terminal where they had real food and AC!  Jesus! I was starting to hate everyone and everything!  The ferry took another two hours with no AC and a decrepit fan to cool a 100 people.  When we arrived to Ko Phi Phi we were bombarded with hawkers saying "boat, boat!" and "where you go?".  I found a representative for our accommodation that I booked the day before but when I told him we were here and needed to be shown the way he looked at me and smiled like an idiot and motioned me to go away.  Moron.  So we found the place ourselves after asking for directions 10 times.  Not caring how disgusting the place was we showered and pretty much passed out until hunger brought us back to life.  Yep, worst trip ever in the history of backpacking.  Soon to come: Ko Phi Phi.

Ko Samui and Ko Tao

We got out of Bangkok with Chad's suit in the skillful hands of a Thai tailor with the oldest pug dog for a pet.  Little guy mooshed all his eye boogers into my backpack! After we finished with this crazy suit business we had some hours to kill so we did some pavement pounding on Sukumvit Road.  A much more city-fied skyscraper type area with Louis Vouton stores and overpriced fashiony things.  To escape the blazing heat, that is always worse in the concrete jungle, we ducked into a crazy 6 level mall.  Each level had a fashion theme from different countries.  I especially liked the Japanese level!  No good deals in this establishment however.  With a night bus to catch we headed back to Kho San Road for one last little look about.  I opted to try out the fish spa that I had heard so much about.  3$ got me 15 minutes of foot cleaning by tiny little sucker fish wiggling between my toes and up my legs.  Ya....frickin gross!  It took me a minute to get used to the tickling but once I calmed down enough to keep still it was actually quite enjoyable.  My skin was soft and I swear the hairs on my legs were shorter too!
We booked a bus/boat ticket to Ko Samui to do some beach sitting and relaxing.  The journey was long and hot and horrible.  We got picked up at our hotel and had to walk to the main bus stop...hot and sticky business with a pack on.  Once we reached our bus we were pleasantly surprised to see brightly painted coach buses...not minibuses!  However our joy turned to woe as we boarded and smelled the rank stench of the bus bathroom wafting through the aisles.  Every time someone opened the door....wham! It was so gross!  I made myself a peppermint gum mustache to wear under my nose to battle the smell.  A friend warned us that bus rides would be shitty because of drugged up, drunk or hungover westerners and people with especially stinky dreadlocks.  Amazingly this bus ride was well equipped with all mentioned above.  Loud mouth Seattle girl wouldn't shut it until way after midnight!  We finally reached what we thought was the boat station but was in fact just a place for us to wait for two hours for yet another bus to come take us to the ferry station.  We finally reached the ferry and plunked down for a 2 hour crossing....also hot and sticky despite the advertised "air conditioned!" area for passengers.
Ko Samui is a resort island and we were prepared to spend a little more to have a bit of pampering (we are on holiday, this is no backpacker trip!).  We opted for a taxi instead of the tuk tuk truck and chose a secluded bungalow instead of the bustling town on the beach.  We arrived to the Jungle Club and were so thankful for some peace and quiet and the company of a cute little jack russel named Lilly with a penchant for flip flops.  The food was great too!  A delicious bananna mango shake to greet me and I plunked my sweaty behind in the pool for the rest of the day!  I forgot to apply sunscreen to my lower legs due to sand being stuck to me and now am suffering from red sausage legs that are burnt to a crisp and swollen...curses!
Beach acticities: 1) I brought with me the last book of a series of four and was extremely excited to not have anything to do for the next few days so that I could finally conclude what was going to happen to the Lannisters and the Starks of Westeros.  However as I was nearing the end of the last book I couldn't help but notice that there was no way it was going to finish in the 50 pages that were left.  So I snuck a peek to the back and was dismayed to find......"to be continued!" WHATTT! This is an outrage!  You can't write a book series of four books and then at the end say "oh ya I forgot to put the last book in so you will just have to wait."  2) swimming in the ocean and then getting too scared I will be pulled out to sea so I stay in the shallows and get wacked around by waves and get sand in my suit. 3) sending Chad to find me non-alcoholic beverages and popscicles.  4) saying no thank you to beach vendors trying to sell really crappy souvenirs and "henna" tattoos * I made the mistake of getting one done in Bali 6 years ago and it was actually black hair dye and made my skin break out into a horrible rash and I would still have the scars if I didn't cover it up by a real tattoo.
Anyways.  We are on a strict 8:30 bedtime it seems.  With me not being able to drink my face off I just can't seem to find a reason to go out and watch everyone else do it.  Poor Chad has been by my preggo side the whole time and I feel that he may crack and take off to find a whiskey bucket very soon.
We left Ko Samui after two nights and took the boat to Ko Tao.  That is where we are right now.  We bypassed the famous full moon party island of Ko Phangan and headed straight for the Thai diving mecca....and so did all the full mooners!  The boat was full to bursting of anxious dive students who have finally got over their full moon hangovers after 3 days since the big event.  If we would have known we would have went some where else first and let the crowds pass through.  But alas we are short on time and so are "stuck" in a very expensive room that was about the only thing left in town and diving with half the backpackers of Thailand population.  Fun for partying sake (of which I can't partake) but not so great for crowds.  Our room cost us $60 a night but is 5 star quality, so i'm not complaining.  If we were on another long trip we could never do this.  The first dive shop we went to tried to put us in a concrete box with a fan and a bed in a construction yard full of leering dudes and roosters...we said no way jose and so here we are at Ban's Dive Resort in the classiest room I've ever laid my pack in!
Chad did two dives today and I tagged along on the boat to see if I could get in a bit of snorkeling.  He hasn't dove in 9 months so he was a little nervous but luckily he was paired with an English former dive master who helped him remember his acronyms....Bruce WIllis Makes Horrible Films (or something of that sort).  He took some video with  his fancy dancy new camera I got him for his 30th birthday and we have yet to review it.  He saw some eels, angel fish and a grouper that looked like it could eat him.  The dive spots we went to were too deep for me to see anything from the surface so I just paddled around the boat and hung out with a salty cat whose home is the Ban Dive Boat.  He keeps it mouse and rat free and gets to eat left over tuna sandwiches, what a life!  It actually truly sucks being pregnant! I can't scuba dive, I can't jump off the boat and I can't even drink rum from a snorkel! But then the little neno gives me a couple nudges in the ole ribs and it makes it all worth it.
Well I am ready to go for dinner but it seems that hubby has taken a liking to his new English friend Jon and has not returned to the hotel yet.  It seems that Chad and English fellows get along quite well because they both seem to have a healthy appetite for beer and curry.  Generally speaking that is.  So it might be instant noodles for me whilst I enjoy the AC in our room....could this be Chad's whiskey bucket night?